Ten years ago I began the decade in Australia. I was a third grade teacher in Kissimmee, Florida. Little did I know that 2010 would be the start of many new chapters and seemingly many lifetimes lived. Here’s my decade by the numbers.

I found many things that I didn’t want to do, stumbling on things that I was good at and liked quite a lot. 

I became a published writer.

And I wrote a few articles, a paper in a book, and I’m 6 drafts into a middle years novel. 

My point with all of this is that ten years is a small stretch of time in the grand scheme of things, but the amount of change and growth that is possible is nothing short of spectacular. I went from having no idea what I might do with my life beyond maybe teaching abroad someday to all of this. When you’re in it, you don’t realize how much is actually going on. Small steps forward (and sometimes backwards) each day seem like drops in a bucket. But take a step back, and those drops can become an overflowing bucket. 

But instead of looking at that overflowing bucket with pride and appreciation for all that I have accomplished, I feel exhausted. 

Through all of that change and travel I have been pulling myself in so many directions I feel like I have lost sight of myself. In 2018 I chose the word focus because I was beginning a new career as an education consultant and the JRNEY blog was a priority. Then last year I chose balance because I wanted to make the most of living in China. While both of these words have truly defined the past two years, they have also diverted my attention away from myself and the important people in my life. I have wanted to be so many things to so many people, see and do as much as I possibly can. In the process I have lost a bit of myself, and my internal compass feels a bit wonky. 

So this year, and maybe for this decade, my word will be “center” to get my internal compass back and be able to focus on the things that matter most without getting caught up in the “shoulds” of life. The only way to do that is to really listen to myself and know when to push on and when to back off. I’ve decided to begin the year by taking a break. Sounds strange doesn’t it? But as part of my reflection I realized that I needed one. Focusing on work over the past couple of years has left me feeling off, disconnected. So, while I usually take my work with me on my travels, this time I’m not. No emails, no checking in, no planning or blogging. I’m going to read fiction, sit on a beach in Malaysia (probably in the rain because it’s monsoon season) and experience a new place like I used to with fresh eyes and an open heart. 

What’s your #oneword for 2020?